Tuesday, April 1, 2014

“Meet Your Pilot”: Ari Elpiloto’s Résumé (Aunt.Sexy Studies Her Pilot’s Résumé, Reads a Little Shakespeare, and Jots Down Some Notes)

NASA, Photo acquired May 18, 2013
International Space Station

O wherefore, Nature, didst thou lions frame?
Since lion vile hath here deflower’d my dear:
Which is – no, no – which was the fairest dame
That lived, that loved, that liked, that look’d with cheer.
Come, tears, confound;
Out, sword, and wound
The pap of Pyramus;
Ay, that left pap,
Where heart doth hop:
Thus die I, thus, thus, thus.
Now am I dead,
Now am I fled;
My soul is in the sky:
Tongue, lose thy light;
Moon take thy flight:
Now die, die, die, die, die.

— Pyramus, Act V, Scene 1, A Mid Summer Night’s Dream, by William Shakespeare


The pilot’s submitted résumé reveals nothing remarkable: his education (degree from Embry Riddle Aeronautical University) and experience (10,000 miles, 1,650 on Boeing 777) seem impeccable.
However, his work record contains an eighteen-month gap, which needs to be explained during the upcoming “Meet and Greet.”
It may be nothing, but something bothers me; it would be unusual for someone to stop working in the middle of a career without a reason, and I need to find out why before I board my flight.
It could have been something very benign, but...
Note about pilot’s name: Did Mr. Elpiloto become a pilot because of his name? Family pressure? Self-fulfilling prophecy? Coincidence?
Not sure about flying with a pilot who isn’t enthusiastic about his job.
Thank goodness for this new TSA Initiative. Having some modicum of control sure takes some of the fears out of flying.

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